December 2007

Ed needs a vacation, so we are off to Florida WEE!!
He gets to do some work down there, so for very little spent on his end....
more on that later..

He took to re-modeling the kitchen when I was away in England.
I felt as if I walked into the wrong place, hard as a rock, asked to leave England early and
now I don't know who's place this is, things in boxes an alien world, nicer but alien Nonetheless things not as I would of chose ah right I didn't, right then..

I am not good at letting go never was..No. I am very bad at it actually.
Cry like a babe ( I was a babe) when we trade in a car or moved it one of the stories about me you know when parents speak about you to you or other....well you should of seen her wig out when we changed anything'..

Big change, a huge demand of letting go my sweetest Andy I love him with my whole being, I resonate for and with him...... has said goodbye of sorts...
I am not good at it please don't say I must let go, not you lover don't ask me to say goodbye to you ..

So alone, missing Andy he was not kidding, not that I thought he were...
Not an email or phone call since Nov 1st, he returned a text though on the 17th of December whilst I was in Florida and my heart lightened, my spirit soared my face beamed
(smile) even my hair curled better.. I was told I looked happy, such is his power.

♀•••••••⾳

Florida has crept into my soul, namely Santiva, Ms. "Naw no Florida for me", now in love
with the place, wonderful warmth of the sun, the gulf ~ the palm trees fauna & flora ♥♥
ok not wild about the possibility of running into a gator or the noseeums (horrible things),

I can work around it, I love Ed for giving me Florida, he is so generous... my heart aches for his happiness he deserved so much better then what has been doled out from life,
as an 8 day old infant from family, and especially from me, still he has taken life so well.
I hope he continues to do so..

Not like the loser that is A~ wife, which I have come to loathe, she's a truly pitiful excuse for a human!! How someone can give so much pain & nothing much in return, yet still be wanted angers me so... life is so unfair, ha that's news eh? Too much!!